If you want a relationship, ask yourself these questions…

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Throughout many different conversation with professional single women, I always ask them this question, “if you are looking for a relationship, what kind of man do you want to be with?”

I have gotten many different answers, but the most common ones are:


So on and so forth. These qualities of men certainly are important for most women, but the big questions in relationship and we often forgot to ask ourselves are: 


Who am I and what is important for me?


Have you ever had this shopping experience where you are looking around at the makeup counter in a department store and trying on a few things, but you have no idea what you need. You impulsively buy something like lipstick, mascara and the latest lip balm. You buy them out of the need to shop.

When you get home, you realise that you already have similar makeups and the colour doesn’t really work for you. You regret getting them and these items end up sitting at the bottom of the drawer. 

That need to shop is like the need to be in a relationship.

When you don’t know what you want, just following the need to shop may only cause you few lip balms and mascara that don’t fit you. 

But when you have no idea who is that person you want to be with and what is important for you, your need to be in a relationship will cause you to jump into one randomly and hoping it will work this time around. When it doesn’t, you doubt your worthiness.

And I want you to know that it is not because you are not worthy, it is because you lack clarity. 


Knowing what is important for you and getting the clarity on who you are can save you from lots of heartache and breakups. 


When I was single, I often tell my friends that I want to be with someone just like me. 
I didn’t understand the meaning behind it, until I met my soul mate. It was 5 years ago. 

For sure some people will question, how can you find someone just like you… that’s impossible. 
And it’s true. It is not possible to find someone just like me. 

I guess what I meant by that was to be with someone who share the same values as me. 
Someone who have similar understanding of what is the meaning of life as me. 
Someone who has the similar vision of the future as me. 
Someone who share similar way of living as me. 

In order to understand what kind of man I want to be with, 

I need to first understand what kind of values are important to me.
I need to first discover what’s the meaning of life for me. 
I need to first create my own vision of the future
I also need to first live the life that I want to have. 



If you have no clue what is important for you, you won’t know what kind of man will match to be that person you want to spend your life with. 


Trust me, I have tried it the hard way until I realised who I truly am and what is important for me in my o
wn life first. Then, meeting my soul mate was as easy and magical as the fairy tale because I know. I know who I am and who I want to spend the rest of my life with.